Thread of Destiny
by Blue Topaz
Summary: Tales and realities sometimes collides. Last Chapter is up. Yay...
1. Default Chapter

TITLE : Thread of Destiny  
  
RATING: PG just to be safe  
  
CATEGORY: General, Romance, Humour  
  
PAIRING: Sam/Jack  
  
TIME FRAME: Any seasons with Daniel in it.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
Please do not post or distribute this story without the author's permission. Copyright by Blue Topaz, 2002  
  
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AN: I've watched some of the season 6 episodes and beginning to like Jonas Quinn, he's an interesting character and might use him for my next fic. But I need Daniel for this story and still love him even though he's in the next plane of existence right now, :-). I'm a big S/J shipper btw. It's going to be very different from my first fiction because I'm going to focus it more to S/J relationship (a bit serious) and less humor, although it still there. Anyway, enjoy the story.  
  
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**Chapter One : Prologue  
  
"Jack, this is incredible. Come on, we have got to see it." Daniel as always is bouncing and dare I say wiggling his tail like a little puppy every time we encounter a new civilization.  
  
"Daniel," I said in my most tolerant voice, "be patient. Didn't I tell you not to get excited first? We have to make sure that Hammond said yes first. Carter and Teal'c are on their way to report to him." I could almost feel that the 'big speech' coming out.  
  
"Jack, this is a very rare opportunity for me, err sorry," he realizes his mistake after I gave him a warning look, "for us to study this celebration. They only held it once a year, this is their main ceremony, like say Christmas back on earth. Xian said that everybody in his village would be participating at this commemoration. Their culture is very different than us, we can learn a lot about them. If we're not hurry, we will miss it. And ..." I take off my sunglasses and let Daniel rambles along. I've learned a long time ago the best way to stop our resident Archeologist, Egyptologist, Linguist, Anthropologist and all around geek from his lecture is to ignore him. Funny how I still see him as a geek but not having problem with it.  
  
"So, what do you want for lunch?" I make a move pass him and towards our ration pack. "We got stew beef, macaroni and cheese, turkey, ah ... and would you believe it, good ol' chicken."  
  
"Jack, this is important. How could you think about food now?" Everything that is different from earth's culture is important for our Danny-boy. I couldn't care less.  
  
"Because I'm hungry?" I picked one of the MRE randomly, they all taste the same anyway. "So, which one do you want?"  
  
Daniel sighs and shrugs his shoulder, I guess he's given up on me. "I'm going to talk to Xian again, see if there's any other information he could gave us."  
  
"Look Daniel, I'm sure this is interesting and exciting for you but we still have to wait for Hammond to give it a go OK?" And the timing couldn't be more perfect.  
  
"_Colonel, are you there?" Carter voice came out from the radio.  
  
"Yeah, go ahead."  
  
"__General Hammond said OK, but we have to be careful not to make any trouble with the natives."  
  
"I though he'd have enough faith in us by now"  
  
"__I'm sure he has Sir, he gave us 3 days to go and visit Xian's cave. Teal'c and I will be at our camp in an hour. Over." I could hear her smile though her voice. I love it when I make her smile.  
  
"Copy that, O'Neill out." Daniel's face is full of delight.  
  
"I'm going to tell Xian." Is all he says, I guess it's up to me to break out our camp then.  
  
Half an hour later I finished all the packing, Daniel is still talking to Xian, a native to this planet, Hailin as they called it. We gated to this planet yesterday after the MALP showing a sign of naquada present in this planet. This is supposed to be a mineral survey type of mission. Personally, I'm against it, I don't like surveying. I prefer kicking Ghould butt or maybe meet and greet with some nice more advance civilization that has no problem in sharing their technology with us. But we really need the naquada, badly, that's why that we are here. We have to make sure that the planet has enough naquada for our need and pose no treat to earth. The UAV showed no sign of life but apparently it was wrong.  
  
This morning Xian showed up at our camp, he was curious about us. His clothes are made of some sort of animal's skin. He doesn't speak English, but luckily for him Daniel speaks his language. It was ancient Chinese or at least that's what Daniel said, anyway Daniel chatted happily with him and manages to find out about the festival that they're going to have tonight. Daniel thinks that Xian's ancestors were taken from China a long long time ago, not that I couldn't guess it from his features.  
  
Carter took some sample from the planet's dirt, water and plants yesterday, so she volunteered herself to go back to SGC, to put the samples in her lab and asked for Hammond's permission to stay longer in this planet. I wish she were here right now, Daniel is totally ignoring me.  
  
Major Carter, that's what I call her. Sam, that's the name that my heart wanted to say, I know I said that name in my dreams over and over again. I can't call her Sam, I'm afraid if I did I will lost my self control and do something that will jeopardize her career. Damn regulations.  
  
I have this dream. There were only the two of us, my eyes can only see her, nothing else matter. I look at her eyes and let myself being drifted, closer and closer, toward her. She will lift her left hand and the palm of her hand is facing me, at the same time my right hand mimicking her action. Our palms meet and our fingers are entwined around each other, I could feel something penetrates my palms and spreading throughout my body. It's something warm, comforting and safe. Her soft blue eyes never leave mine, we have a silent conversation that only our eyes could understand. Words and gestures are unnecessary, I never ever felt something like this before. Her love brings deliverance, I feel like I could do anything but yet we stand still, just let the moment be.  
  
When I woke up I will smile and let the sensations from our touch faded slowly, after it's gone, my heart will always arch for more. When I realized that the dream is repeating I made a wishful thinking. If I can't have her in this reality, maybe, just maybe, we can be together in the dream. It's good enough for now. It has to. I wonder if she has the same dream.  
  
I snap out of my wondering and try to focus on my surrounding. Daniel said that the Hailanese live in a city built inside a big cave and rarely leaves the safety of their home. That explains how the UAV didn't show any sign of human activity. Xian is an adventurer and storyteller, he explores the planet surface every year a month before the celebration and then share his stories about the outside world to his people during the main ritual. Sounds like he's the Hailanese version of Daniel, without the glasses. He was so excited to see us, obviously he never though that he will ever met someone from other planet.  
  
"Jack, there's something that you need to know." Daniel decides to end his ignorance to me. About time, I'm getting bored.  
  
"So, what's up? No Goa'uld here I hope."  
  
"No, no. It just that the Hailanese are a bit strict on their ... dress code." He tries to hide his discomfort.  
  
"Dress code?" I'm not sure if I like the sound of it.  
  
"Yeah, apparently when entering their city we have to be properly attired."  
  
"Daniel, get to the point. What do they want us to wear?"  
  
"Well, erg ... on second though, I think I wait until Teal'c and Sam are here so that I don't have to explain it to them again." He's chicken out, something's fishy here. I was going to order him to tell me when I hear someone coming. I turn my head in time to see Carter and Teal'c approaching us.  
  
"Carter, Teal'c, hurry up a bit, Daniel got something to tell us." I try to speed them up, they look at each other and then jog a bit.  
  
"Nice to see you again too, Sir." Carter replies in lack of my greeting after they reach us. I smile at that comment, looks like she's been taking a lesson from my book of sarcasm. Not that I mind.  
  
"What is it that you wish to inform us, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c as always go straight to the point.  
  
"Yeah Danny-boy. Please do inform us."  
  
"Uhm, ah, where should I start? As we know, the Hailanese live inside a big cave. And they have this statue that was considered to be sacred. They have a tale to explain this, apparently once upon a time there's this emperor that ..."  
  
"Daniel, cut to the chase and just tell me what do they want us to wear!" Time to bring my command tone out.  
  
"They want us to wear a sarong." Daniel said it with a speed of light. "All of us, no exception."  
  
"A WHAT?" They want me to wear a skirt? Over my dead body.  
  
"I believe Daniel Jackson said sarong, O'Neill" Teal'c's face is impassive as ever, I guess he doesn't know what a sarong is.  
  
"I know what he said Teal'c, I just want to make sure that he made a mistake when he said sarong."  
  
"What is a sarong, Daniel Jackson?" I could hear giggling and I know who's the owner.  
  
"Carter, what did I say about giggling?"  
  
"No giggling, Sir. Sorry, Sir." She doesn't look sorry, not even a bit. Her eyes twinkling with laugh.  
  
"Sarong is a piece of cloth Teal'c, we usually wear it by wrapping it around our waist." Daniel tries to explain.  
  
"It's a skirt T. There's no way I'm going to wear it Daniel, no way."  
  
"Jack, it's not a skirt. It's a sarong. Beside we still can wear our pants underneath it. Xian said that the sarong is special. They were handmade and washed seven times in different solutions and were purified, in some way. Look, they allow us to bring our weapons inside the city but we have to wear the sarong. The purpose of this sarong is to cover our, ehm, private parts."  
  
"Daniel, my pant covers my private parts very well, thank you"  
  
"Jack, they have this holy statue inside the city that was only shown to the public on this day and they want to keep it sacred. These people think of sex as something shameful to be talk about, pre-marital, uhm, intercourse is highly forbidden. Our private parts are, if I translate it literally, radiating negative vibes. The sarong will prevent the vibes from spreading. They don't want the statue get that bad, negative vibes."  
  
"Interesting. I have never encountered such belief, I also wish to see this statue O'Neill." I can't believe it, Teal'c are agreeing to wear a skirt.  
  
"Teal'c, you're going to wear a skirt. Don't let Daniel sweet talk you through this." If Teal'c says yes I know I have to give up.  
  
"I do not see what the problem of wearing this sarong, O'Neill. Is it not true that in some parts of the earth man also wears a skirt? I believe they called it a kilt." And then I remember something, in Chulak they wear big long robes, I guess Teal'c doesn't think that wearing skirt is such an absurd idea.  
  
I look at Daniel, he got this look that say 'please Jack, I really want to go and see this place'. I look at Teal'c and he just as stoic as a Jaffa can ever be. Finally I look at Carter, she's having a hard time controlling her laugh. She got this goofy smile.  
  
"What are you smiling at?"  
  
"Nothing. Permission to borrow Daniel's camera later on, Sir?" Her smile gets wider.  
  
"No, no camera whatsoever. Are we clear on that?"  
  
"Yes Sir"  
  
"For crying out loud. Alright, alright, I wear the skirt. Just remember one thing, no one, I repeat NO ONE will ever know that I wear a skirt. Got it?" Daniel is not even bothering to thank me, he's off to Xian and telling him the good news. Teal'c bows his head slightly and let out a small smile. Carter is the only one who answers back, her goofy smile is still there.  
  
"Yes Sir. But what about our mission report Sir?"  
  
Aw crap, I completely forget about that.  
  
- to be continue -  
  
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AN: My first fiction is completely terra firma, that's why I decided to have my second one off world. The story goes much slower that I though it would be, so the second chapter should be very interesting. Thanks for all who took their time reviewing and feedbacking my first fiction, I learned much from that. I'm just wondering if any of you could recommend good beta readers. Feedbacks are very much wanted and welcome.  
  
blue-topaz@lycos.com_**


	2. The Red Thread Legend

Chapter 2 : The Red Thread Legend  
  
We were walking through the forest, towards Bora, the city inside the cave. Xian said (via Daniel) that the entrance of Bora is near a waterfall inside the forest. Daniel and Xian are in front, with Teal'c closely behind them. Carter and I are a bit behind.  
  
"So, is there any chance that this planet doesn't have any naquada here?"  
  
"No Sir, the preliminary test of the sample I brought back to the SCG definitely shows an abundant amount of naquada here."  
  
"Any chance that the test was wrong?"  
  
"Only about one in a million."  
  
"D'oh"  
  
I have to let out a sigh. That means there will be another SG teams going to this planet. I know my team won't kiss and tell, but there's no guarantee that the natives would do the same. I can't believe I'm going to wear a sarong. Think! Think! There're must be a way out of this. Maybe I could piss some of the natives, and then classify this as a hostile planet. But there's this little problem, we need the naquada. Mmm, what else can I do?  
  
"I got nothing. You?"  
  
She looks confused. "Colonel?"  
  
"Could you think of how I could wear this sarong and get away with it?" She opened her mouth to say something but then stopped, changing it into a big grin.  
  
"Actually Sir, some women find a man who wears sarong quite attractive."  
  
"Carter, what's so attractive about a man wearing skirt?" I think she's winding me up.  
  
"They just do. I know I find man who wears kilt attractive." Interesting.  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yeah, sure I do." I really wish she does.  
  
I could hear the sounds of the water, I guess we almost there. The waterfall is enormous, there's this small entrance next to it. Xian took out a piece of cloth (i.e. the sarong) out, wrapped it around his waist before he goes inside. It looks quite simple and OK, the skirt is only about his knee length, like the Tok'ra uniform. Maybe I still can leave this planet with my dignity intact. I was just about to follow him when Daniel stopped me.  
  
"Jack, we can not go in yet. Xian's going to take some sarongs for us. After we wear them, then we can go in."  
  
"Oh, let me guess, it's about the whole negative vibe thing?"  
  
"Yeah, well guys, while we're waiting for Xian to come back, I just want to give you guys the background of the celebration." I could feel my headache coming.  
  
"Look Daniel, do we really need to know about this stuff?"  
  
"Jack, if you want to be a part of this, you have to know the basic information."  
  
"Well, that's the problem, isn't it? I don't want to be part of this. What do you say if we come back here tomorrow? At least we won't have to wear skirt to enter the city."  
  
"Jaaack."  
  
"Colonel, this could be important." Carter says.  
  
"How's that?"  
  
"General Hammond did say that we have to be careful not to accidentally insult our potential future ally."  
  
"It is true O'Neill. We can not let our ignorance endangered our relationship with the people of the Hailan."  
  
"What day is it? 'Let's frustrate our CO' day?" Sometimes I feel like these guys don't respect me anymore.  
  
"It's not, but we can arrange that if you want to, Sir." I growls.  
  
"Whatever. Just make it short OK?"  
  
"OK, this celebration is based on an ancient legend. Back on earth, Chinese people believe that when a child was born, invisible red threads reached out from the child's spirit and connect to all the important people who will enter the child's life. As time passed, the threads shorten, bringing the child closer to those peoples. The red threads may knot up and twist, but they will never break. So, it doesn't matter how further apart those people are, as long as the thread connect them, they will meet again. Even if they were separated, in time they will get together again. Now, the Hailanese has this holy rite where a chosen priest tells a story about this legend. Xian wouldn't tell me the story as he though that it would be better for us to hear it straight from the priest. It is the most important part of the celebration."  
  
My headache got worse. "Daniel, I did say short, didn't I?"  
  
"Sorry Jack, I got a bit excited. Anyway, all you have to do is sit still through this rite, don't interrupt or do anything that will distract the priest from telling the story."  
  
"See, all you have to do is get straight to the point."  
  
"Interesting legend, Daniel Jackson. I believe it can also apply to us."  
  
"Uhm, Teal'c. What do you mean?"  
  
"You are a scholar Daniel Jackson, O'Neill and Major Carter are formidable warriors, all of you were born on Earth. I was the First Prime of Aphopis and born in Chulac. Yet we are together now, fighting against the same enemy despite our differences. If this red threads do exist, then they must be linking all of us." Teal'c is a very deep person, might have something to do with him being over 100 years old.  
  
"Sweet."  
  
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Xian brought us inside Bora, introduced us to his people and gave us the twenty cent tour around the cave. The Hailainese were friendly and a bit curious about us, but they don't pose any danger. The rite will begin in a minute, so now all of us hanging around near the statue with all the Hailanese. It's a statue of a woman, clearly distress over something as tears are pouring out from her eyes. She's holding a flower in her hand. I must admit that the sculptor must be really skillful, capturing all the little details even though the statue is made of stone. Peoples are gathered around it forming a circle.  
  
A small boy approaches me, he has something in his hand. He lifts his head so that he could see my head, then says something. Of course I don't understand it, I was going to ask Daniel to help me translate it when the boy tugged my sarong. He pointed at my head and then at the object he's holding in his hand. It's a small red ribbon, only about ½ inch wide and 3 inches in length.  
  
"I think he wants your hat in exchange of the ribbon, Sir." Carter's been watching this whole interaction with interest. Daniel and Teal'c are having conversation with Xian and some of his friends not so far from us.  
  
"Really?"  
  
I watch the boy again, and then take off my hat. His eyes follow the movement, I take a last look at my hat and then put it on his head. It's too big but he doesn't seem to mind as his face brightened. He smiles at me and says something that I could only guess as 'thank you' and gives me the ribbon.  
  
"Now, what am I supposed to do with this?"  
  
I take a look at the ribbon, it got some gold Chinese characters written on it. My confusion must have been really obvious. The boy then says something again while his finger pointed at Carter. He takes the ribbon from me, takes Carter's left hand, wrapped it around her little finger and then ties a knot on it. I guess the ribbon is hers now. He's giggling while doing it and then takes off.  
  
"Well, my hat for a ribbon on your hand. Not so bad for a fair trade." I gave her a smile.  
  
"Uhm, if you want it back Sir, I'll ..." She was starting to untie the knot when I stopped her.  
  
"Keep it Carter. Beside, it looks better on you than on me."  
  
She looks at the ribbon and smiles, "Well, in that case, thanks Sir."  
  
Suddenly there's a horn sound originated from the position of the statue, peoples around us suddenly stopped whatever they're doing and gave their full attention to the man standing next to the statue.  
  
"The rite is started." That's all Daniel said.  
  
Then the priest begins to tell the legend.  
  
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God of Creation made us in pairs, one man for one woman. Before they came to this world, the man and the woman are one. When they were conceived, they will become two. Separated in time and distance, but their souls will always be one. Their love and destiny transformed into an invisible red thread reaching out from their little fingers, binding them together for eternity. The thread are so strong, no weapons or death can break it. Only the eternal fire from Feng-huang the Phoenix, Protector of the South can burn it, consuming it until the thread turned into ashes. However, in doing so they will lose the memory of the one they love.  
  
This is a story about two people.  
  
Pi Sien is a beautiful and mild mannered princess, the only child of Emperor Song of the Tang kingdom. Her red thread is connected to Bun Su, a handsome and brave young General serving her kingdom. They first met when she was born and he was five. Fifteen years later they were lover. Pledged to love one another, giving their souls to each other no matter what will happened in the future. In her seventeenth birthday, they were going to take their marriage vow. Their world was perfect.  
  
A month before the marriage took place, their kingdom was attacked by the Ming. The enemy took them by surprise and Emperor Song was killed. Princess Pi Sien was given an ultimatum by Emperor Kang Si, the Ming's ruler, if she willing to become one of his wives then he will spare the life of the Tang's people. By becoming his wife, Tang will legitimately become his. But if she refused, then he would wipe out the whole Tang kingdom and reclaimed it as his. She was given a week time to think about this.  
  
She knows she had no choice, her duty to her people had to come first. So she spent the whole week together with Bun Su, savoring their limited time to be together without crossing the boundary. Bun Su is a General, he understood her choice and tried his best not to make it difficult for her although his hearts were broken to pieces.  
  
On their last night together they bid their farewell in tears under the crescent moon. He picked up a Chi flower, gave it to her and said, "Whenever you see this flower, please remember that my love for you would never ceased."  
  
The next day came and Princess Pi Sien was taken to Kang Si's palace and became his wife. Months went by. Kang Si treated her well, but she was suffering inside because she was not with Bun Su. All she did everyday is holding a Chi flower in her hand, looked at it for hours and cried.  
  
He saw her cry and he knew why, it was very painful to watch. That why he decided to looked for Feng-huang the Phoenix to burn the thread that connected them, making them forget about each other. He went to the South where the Phoenix lived and asked her for her help. The Phoenix refused at first because burning the red thread is highly forbidden but Bun Su keep begging and begging her. Finally she made a proposition, if he could sculpt a stone statue showing how much Pi Sien suffers then she would grant his wish.  
  
With that, Bun Su went on a journey to look for Master Cin Ha, a famous sculptor to become his apprentice. Master Cin Ha accepted him and became his teacher for 3 years. Everyday he worked hard to be able to sculpt a stone statue. Before Bun Su set off to see the Phoenix again, Master Cin Ha asked him, "Are you sure you want to forget about her? She is your soul mate, you should be pleased with the memory that you have, even though you two were not meant to be together." Bun Su replied,"I am happy with the memory I have, but she is suffering. I will do anything that I can to make sure that she is free from all of her misery, even if I have to give my soul to the Emperor of Hell."  
  
The Phoenix already waited for him when he entered her palace. There was a large stone provided for him, the image of her crying while holding the Chi flower was burning inside his mind. Loves, sadness, anger, helplessness, all of his emotions were poured to the statue. Three days and three nights he shaped and sculpted the stone non stop with all his heart. At the end of the third day the stone had changed into a beautiful masterpiece, but as soon as the statue was finished he blew his last breath. The Phoenix was so touched by his will power that she granted his wish.  
  
Pi Sien soon forgot about her lover, she still not happy with her life but she no longer drowned in her sorrow. However, everytime she saw Chi flower, she felt a bittersweet sadness although she didn't know why. The statue was placed inside the Phoenix's palace, the Phoenix put it there as a memoir of Bun Su and his sacrifices.  
  
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// to be continue //  
  
AN: Hmm, what you think about the legend? I think chapter 3 will be heavily S/J. Please give me reviews and feedbacks.  
  
blue-topaz@lycos.com 


	3. The Inevitable Conversation

Chapter 3 : 'The Inevitable Conversation'

I'm speechless. That is to put it gently. It's like someone smacked your head, grabbed your bike, shook you hand and then took off before you know what's going on. But the good thing is that I have a good idea on the red ribbon thingy. I just got to look at her, it's a bad idea but I just have to. She stands right beside me.

I know that she's beautiful, but under the dim light of the city she's just stunning. So breathtaking that I have to hold my breath literally.  She stares into the space but I noticed that her right hand fiddling with her left little finger. She's not dense, on the contrary she's the most brilliant people I've ever met, she found out what's the ribbon for. To my relief, she didn't take it off, instead she seems to cherish it. Before I knew it, my hand reached for the ribbon. She startled a bit, and then turned her head so that her eyes meet mine. At that moment, we know what we wanted to say but not spoken.

The priest had finished his story long ago but no one dare to say a word, afraid that they would end the mystical experience. Teal'c is the one who break the silence. "I believe the Hailanese legend is not consistent with the one you are familiar with, Daniel Jackson."

Our close proximity is broken abruptly. 

"Yes, this is intriguing." Daniel is frowning, clearly puzzled over something. "This is closer to the Japanese version rather than the Chinese one."

"Pick up the wrong legend, Daniel?" Danny-boy, look what have you done. Not that I regret having an opportunity to hold Carter's hand, it's just that our relationship is already complicated as it is. 

"I was so sure that their version will be the same as the Chinese. Let me ask some more questions OK?" Once again, he's off to talk to Xian. I look at Teal'c.

"No offence T, but I don't want to have my red thread connected to you on this planet."

He smiled so slightly before bowing his head and said, "I must concur."

Carter's been quite, she has her left hand behind her back so that Daniel and Teal'c couldn't see it. They don't know about our little encounter with the little boy, we need to talk, soon.

"Teal'c, will you watch Daniel for me? Carter and I will go around the city, see if there's anything out of the ordinary here. Make sure he doesn't touch anything OK?" I know I can count on the big Jaffa to keep Daniel out of trouble. I waited until Teal'c nod his head.

"Carter, let's go." 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We walked through the crowd. I take the lead, my eyes look for a quite corner or hidden alley as she follows closely behind me. Bingo, I found a perfect spot. A clearing just outside the main complex, it looks deserted and quite. I stop walking suddenly, causing her to bump onto my back.

"Sir?"

I turn around to face her.

"We need to talk."

She seemed reluctant at first but she knows better that we need to have this conversation sooner or later. "Okay."

I let out a sigh. She's avoiding my gaze, staring at her P-90 instead. Funny, I never picture her as a shy type. So I take her left hand with my right hand and lift her chin with the other hand, her blue eyes met mine. Collecting all my courage, I start to speak, carefully.

"After the armbands incident I know that I agreed to leave things in that room." Her eyes lit in anticipation. "But we need to talk things through. I tried to keep it to myself but ... my felling for you is growing each day and I don't know if I could hold it much longer ... so I just want you to know." Here comes the big talk. I fix my eyes on hers, letting myself be lost in that deep shade of blue. With all of my emotions I begin to let her know. 

"You know that I ..." _love you._

"I know." She whispers back at me.

"You also know that I can't ..." _act on it.___

"I know" She squeezes my hand.

"But if the situations were different, I would ..."_do absolutely anything to be with you._

"I know you would." She closes her eyes for a moment, her expression shows that she feels the same.

"I really wish that ..."_there's another way around this._

"Me too." The tension is elevated.

"Given our circumstances, I'm glad that we're still capable of having this normal conversation."

She's chuckling and it only makes her more desirable, I move my left hand from her chin and stoke her cheek. 

"You know everything ..., don't you?" I ask slowly.

"Yeah, but it doesn't make it any easier." Her eyes reflect her despair.

"No, it doesn't. But one day ... I promise you one day ... I'll make it possible for us to be together." 

"But you don't know for sure when that 'one day' is, do you?"

"Does it matter?" 

She took her time to think about my question. "No." But she looks dejected.

I hate to see her sad. So I pull her into my embrace, holding her close and whisper to her ear. "There's something else that you need to know."

She wraps her arms around me, resting her chin on my shoulder. "What?"

"I've adored you from the moment you challenged me into that arm-wrestle." 

She's giggling now, "God, you're a master in keeping romantic moments going, you know that?

She relaxes, so I let my fingers run through her blond hair and planted a kiss on the top of her head. I'm felling so happy that I wouldn't give a damn even if Hammond and Jacob decided to show up right now. We're holding each other in silence.

"So ... "

"So ... "

"Do you accept my application for being your future boyfriend?"

She chuckles, she always appreciate my jokes no matter how lame they are. I love that about her, no scratch that, actually I love everything about her.

"It depends." She said.

"On what?"

"On how good you are in arm-wrestling."

Oh God, she's making me laugh now. I feel like I could spend my whole life with her.

"Is that the only condition for that position?"

"Of course not. There are other ... qualities that I required from my boyfriend."

She's playing a game now and I'm more than happy to join in. 

"Care to share that with me?"

"Okay. He has to be brave and doesn't easily be intimidated by me."

"I'm your CO, I intimidate you." This one is easy.

"He has to be understanding as my work is very important for me."

"I'm a very understanding person." She snorts, but I bluntly choose to ignore that.

"He has to love me, care about me and has the ability to make me laugh."

"Consider it done." Piece of cake.

"He has to be able to comfort me when I'm feeling down."

"I'm doing it right now, don't I?" Holding her in my arm should comfort her anytime.

"And the last one, which is the most important one." She puts her hands on my shoulder and then pushes me away at the length of her arms and then she gives me an inspection from the top of my head to the bottom of my shoes with her eyes. I liked the way she looked at me, until she smiles dubiously.

I have to open my big mouth and ask, "What?" 

"For the record, I have to say in advance that you definitely have it." Her smile is getting wider.

I'm getting impatient, "What is it?"

"He has to look good in a skirt."

- to be continue -

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AN: I made some mistakes on chapter 1, should be a 'Prologue' instead of 'Epilogue'. Sorry, so I've edited the first chapter. Any another girl out there that love to see a man in sarong or kilt? Do you enjoy the story? Please send reviews and feedbacks

blue-topaz@lycos.com


	4. My First Love

Chapter 4: 'My First Love'

" ... so after asking some more questions, I finally figured it out. The Hailanese ancestors were brought to P30 J81 by a more advance race. Now, we know it's not the Goa'uld as they didn't seem to recognized Teal'c and no evidence of naquada mining in the past. And it's not the Asgards, because the Asgards usually put a communication and an anti-Goa'uld devices like in Cimmera. Xian let me read some of their scrolls from their library and then I discover something. It was the Ancients who brought them there, what the purpose of this I don't know yet. But I suspect that they wanted to study humans, because the Hailanese culture hasn't been altered in any way, it's really close to the Chinese culture in earth. I think the Hailanese ancestors didn't even know that they had moved to other planet. As far as they concerned they were chosen by the Phoenix to guard her palace, for them it was a great honor." 

Wow, I still wondered how Daniel managed to say so much in the space of 5 minutes. Come to think of it, Carter can do pretty much the same thing. Must be the scientists thing. Got to ask them about it someday.

"Doctor Jackson, are you saying that the Phoenix is an Ancient and she or he somehow tricked the Hailanese into moving to other planet?" Hammond asks. Yep, we're back in the SGC and having a debriefing right now.

"No General, what's more likely happened is that the Ancient used the legend and then asked some people to take care of the Phoenix palace, Boru. Now, I think that they just want to study the ancient Chinese in more depth by isolating them in P30 J81. The story that was told in the ceremony might have been manufactured so that it was more believable."

The story is a lie? Should've known, it's too sad anyway. "Daniel, are you saying that the whole thing was a big hoax?" 

"Well, I don't know yet. It could be true, well, who knows? I mean, even here on earth, we don't even know if Phoenix or even Dragon does exist." He's rambling now. "What I'm saying is I don't think the Ancient had a bad intention towards the Hailanese." 

"They lied."

"Well Jack, the Asgards didn't actually being honest to the people of their protected planets, doesn't mean that they have an ill intentions towards them."

"True." I must admit that he's right. 

"History aside, Doctor Jackson, do you think the Hailanese would be willing to have a treaty with us? The sample Major Carter brought back shows an abundant amount of naquada. From the story you've told me, they don't even have a use for it."

"I believe they will General. With your permission Sir, I wish to be the liaison between us and them. I believe we could learn much more about the Ancients from the Hailanese, Sir."

"I take that into consideration. Anything else?" No one says anything. "No? Then you're dismissed." With that the General gets up from his chair and goes to his office.

I look around the room, Daniel's collecting his papers, Teal'c is still sitting in his chair while Carter is scribbling something in her notes. Ah, Carter, Sam, after we had our little talk we let our guards down when we're alone. I like that, hopefully nobody noticed anything different about us.

"Commissary, anyone? I don't know about you guys, but hearing one of Daniel's lecture is always making me hungry." Well, that produces a glare from Daniel, a giggle from Carter and an expressionless facial expression from Teal'c. Nothing new.

"I'm sorry Sir, but I have to skip this one. I have a meeting with Major Wagner, he wants to know more about the naquada reactor."

"Wagner? He's the new guy, isn't he?" 

Hmm, I remember him. Just joined us last month, there's something about him that I don't like. He always gives me this hatred look like I've killed his favorite pet or something.

"Yes, he's our new explosive expert." 

She started to get up from her chair, taking her notes with her.

"Hey Carter, be careful with him."

She raises her eyebrows, "Sir?"

"There's something not right about that guy. Just be careful OK?" 

I've asked General Hammond to do some background check on him, the result should be here in a few days. His resume is brilliant but it's just too good to be true, even Carter's resume is not that great. Hammond doesn't trust this guy as well, but some stupid politicians in Washington insisted that he should be in the SGC, more reasons not to trust him.

She clearly confused but I know that she trusts me, "I will, Sir. See you guys around." 

And then she's off to see Wagner.

"Hey Jack, what's wrong with this new guys anyway?" 

"I don't know, call it a gut feeling. What do you think, Teal'c?"

"I also feel the same O'Neill." Teal'c shows a concern face. 

It's not good, when people do what we're doing, they have to trust the people they're working with. 

"Anyway Jack, I also have something to do in my lab. Oh yeah, can you come to my house for dinner around 7 tonight? I got something that I want to show you." Daniel's preparing to leave the room.

"Yeah, OK. Do you want me to bring the drinks?" 

"No, no, I got everything, just be on time. See you at seven." 

So, another member of my team decided that work is more interesting than the commissary food. Mmm, got to talk to the Chef, see if he could make the foods more appealing. 

"So Teal'c, buddy. Shall we go get something to eat?"

"I am afraid that I cannot accompany you, O'Neill. I have to perform my Kel'no'reem." Of course he has to.

"D'oh."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, I'm here, alone, in the commissary. Just me and my pie ... and my blue Jell-O ... and my coffee ... oh yeah and don't forget Carter's mineral report on the P30 J81. On the contrary to popular belief in SGC, I do read my team's report carefully, a good leader have to know all the facts before he went for a mission, no matter how insignificant the facts are. Who started the rumors anyway? I just wish that Daniel and Carter would cut the slack over their scientific mumbo-jumbo in their reports. 

"Colonel ... may we join you?" 

I look up to see the owner of that sweet, sweet voice. She's standing in front of me, holding a tray. Damn, Wagner's next to her, also holding a tray.

"Hey Carter, Wagner, take a seat." 

Carter sits just right in front of me, Wagner's beside her. Why does he have to tag along? I want to be alone with her.

"Where's Daniel and Teal'c?" I noticed that she has a red Jell-O instead of blue one. 

"Oh, the usual. Daniel got rocks to take care of and Teal'c had a compulsion to burn some candles. How's your lecture on the naquada reactor going?"

She gives me her genuine smile, "It's going well Sir. Major Wagner has some ideas on how to channel some of the power generated by the reactor core into the conductors by reducing the amount of polarization of the ... "

I clear my throat. "Carter ... I've got everything I wanted to know after you said 'it's going well.'" 

"Of course, Sir. Sorry, I just got carried away."

"Never mind. So, Wagner. What do you think of SGC so far?" 

I don't like this guy, but I have to play nice. Who knows I could get something out from him.

"It's been good so far Sir." 

He's a good actor, he acts normally, but his eyes betrayed his action. 

"Do you know which team you'll be joining?"

"General Hammond said that I should familiarize myself first with some alien technologies before he can put me into any team, Sir." Not a talkative guy, I notice.

"Okay." Time to change the topic of conversation. "So Carter, the Chef runs out of blue Jell-O, huh?"

"Yes, Sir. Apparently, a Colonel, who had been sitting here in the commissary for the last 3 hours, ordered him to hand in the last blue Jell-O which had my name on it." She gives me an accusing glare. 

"Really. Do you want me to talk to this Colonel about your blue Jell-O?" 

My expression is anything but innocent.

"What's so special about the blue Jell-O, Major Carter? I think they all taste the same." 

Yikes, Wagner shows interest in Carter. As long as it's not a romantic one I'll be fine with it.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just like taste better."

"Blue is her color." I provide the answer.

She rolls her eyes. "It's not, Sir." 

It's not?

"So, what's your color, Major?" 

Wagner clearly interested in her. Better not getting any ideas there Wagner, she's mine and I'm watching you.

She has this wondering look in her face. "It's red."

"Red?" 

Was it because of our visit to Hailan? I always though that blue is her color.

Still with her wondering look, she smiles. "Red is always reminded me to my first love. God, I still remember the first time I saw him. I was eighteen." 

I guess my ego got the better of me. Hmm, I never heard about this, well, I guess it's true that you can always learn something new about someone you love every day.

"He so sexy, so well-built, so ... charming." And then she sighs, "Too bad we're only together for a year. God, I still miss him."

I'm getting jealous now. Does she ever think about me like that? WILL she ever think about me that way?

"What happened?"

Her expression is saddened. 

"Car accident. Mark, my brother ... borrowed him one day and he managed to smash Al to a wall."

Huh? My brain need to process that little bit of information for a while.

"Carter, WHAT is your first love anyway?"

She smiles evilly, "Of course 1970's Volvo 164, Sir. A shinny classic red Volvo and oh what a car he's been. He got 6-cylinders, 2978 cc, in line, overhead valves, and 4-speed manual with electrical overdrive. Named him Al, short from Albert, after Albert Einstein, my dad bought him for me as my birthday present. After that, I always had a thing for red, it's my lucky color."

I winced at that, I guess I deserved it. I took her blue Jell-O after all. 

Wagner seems amused with all this and then he asks, "Do you prefer car to man, Major Carter?"

Yes Carter, I want to see how you answered this. Which one do you prefer?

She looks at me for a moment, obviously thinking a smart ass answer. "Well, I was very young at that moment. Al was the best boyfriend I could ever have." 

Really? So Carter, you don't think that I could be a better boyfriend than your car huh? 

She adds quickly after I glared at her, "But now, everything different. I've found man can give more ... varieties to my life." Nice save Carter, but not good enough.

"What kind of varieties Carter?" You won't get away easily girl.

She glares back at me, her eyes saying 'do you really want to know?' Uh oh. 

"Let see, shall we. You got the arguments, the denials, the fighting, oh yeah and don't forget all the lies that they told you. And that is just for a starter." 

I need to make my escape now. A.s.a.p.

"Uhm, I need to go and finished my paperwork. See you around Carter, Wagner."

I get up quickly, but not quick enough to flee from the commissary.

"Colonel, make sure you REALLY finished your paperwork this time." 

Damn, I need to think of new reason to get away from things, this one is getting old. So I answer her in the only way I can.

"Yeah sure you betcha."

- to be continue -

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AN: Review and Feedback are always welcome

blue-topaz@lycos.com


	5. I Wouldn't Want You Any Other Way

**Chapter 5 : "I Wouldn't Want You Any Other Way"**

I look at my watch; it's 19.23. I guess I'm late, but it isn't my fault anyway. I knock at Daniel's door, and it's Teal'c who opens the door.

"You are late O'Neill."

"Yeah, I know. There was an accident on the highway so the cops had to close down some part of the road. Where's Daniel?"

I let myself in.

"Daniel Jackson is in the kitchen. He is not a 'happy camper' at the moment." Ah, I'm so glad that Teal'c has picked up some more of my non-formal vocabulary.

"I bet."

"Jack, is that you?" Daniel shouts from the kitchen

"Yeah, sorry I'm late. But the traffic was bad." I shout back and start walking into the kitchen, with Teal'c following behind me. And then I see him, fiddling with something on the table.

"Well, as long as you are here now. That's the important thing."

"What's up Daniel? It's only dinner. And I'm not that late anyway. So where's the food?" Strange, there's no sign of any food whatsoever. Not even the scent of it.

"Jack, I asked you here today because I need to show you something." He's taking something out from his pocket.

"It can wait, right? I'm hungry by the way. Got something to eat?"

"Jack, this is important." He's serious, not the 'lecture mode' serious, more like 'serious' serious. It's got to be really important then.

"What is it? And where's Carter anyway?" Usually, if Daniel had something serious to talk about, the whole team had to be there.

"She's not here ... not really, anyway. Actually, what I want to show you is related to her."

He gets my full attention now. 

"What's wrong with her? Is she alright?" 

"Major Carter is in perfect condition O'Neill. But Daniel Jackson and I feel that we need to discuss something related to her with you."

"Okay. I'm listening. What do you want to show me anyway?" Let's get this done and over with. I'm starving.

"This." Daniel opened his hand, damn, it's the red ribbon from Hailan.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a long sigh. "You guys knew." This is going to be difficult.

"Yes, we saw the little boy with your cap, he told us everything." 

Silence fills the room.

"May I ask what is your true intention towards Major Carter, O'Neill."

"Teal'c. It's ... complicated OK?"

"Well, then try to uncomplicate it, Jack. What the Hell were you thinking? Giving her the ribbon like that. Did you even know what that meant? You heard the legend. Basically you asked her to be your soul-mate." Daniel, Daniel. It's you who put us in that position in the first place. Remember?

"Daniel, actually, it's the boy who gave it to her."

"The little boy exchanged the ribbon for your hat O'Neill. The ribbon belongs to you." Teal'c bluntly provides the fact that I've already known.

"Listen guys, whatever happened between me and Carter, it's none of your business."

"Jack, we're your team mates. More than that, we're your friends. I think you owe us an explanation."

"Damn it Daniel. Carter and I have already talked about this OK? So I can assure you that none of this will affect our work."

"Then, what about our friendship Jack? Sam is like a sister to me, I wouldn't let you ruin her life."

"Daniel, you know me better than that. I wouldn't do something like that to her."

"Then what are you trying to do? Did you really believe that we wouldn't notice how differently the two of you have acted towards each other after the ceremony?" He's angry, not that I can blame him. But his expression softens as he says, "Jack, we're not trying to be difficult. We just want to know what has happened between you and Sam." He pauses for a while, looks at Teal'c and then continues, "We've noticed that you two seems happier, seem more relaxed and we're happy for that. But the regulation's still there Jack, it's not going away. You can't ignore it, and the sooner you realize it the better or else you'll hurt each other, and we don't want to see that happen."

"I'm trying to do the right thing, OK? First and foremost, she's my friend. Second, she's my subordinate and a damn good one. Third and last, she's a woman and I love her. No matter what the regulation says." Daniel starts to protest when I raise my hand to stop him. "We're not in a relationship Daniel, if that's what you're so worried about. Not yet. I asked her to wait ... and she said 'yes'."

"Did you not think that your request was a selfish one, O'Neill." 

"If to love someone is a selfish act, then so be it."

"Jack, what if there's someone else who could make her happy? You made her promise her future with you, it'll break her."

"I know her. If ... if her heart ever changes ..." Dear God, please don't let that ever happen, "then she'll let me know."

"And then what?"

"Then ... then I'll let her go. I don't want my love to be her prison, I want ... I really want what's best for her even though ... even though ..." I have to close my eyes because even though it's only the thought, it's painful to bear. 

"It will destroy you." Teal'c finishes my sentence.

"No Teal'c, if she loves someone else and is happy with him, then I'll be happy for her. She deserves it." I pause for a while. "What would destroy me is if she decides to stay with me when her heart's no longer mine. Because she's not being honest with herself ... I couldn't love that Carter."

Daniel touches my shoulder and squeezes it, "Jack, we're living a dangerous life. If she looses you now after all the promises you made, she'll ..."

"Ah ... we both are aware of that, it's there in our job description. At least, after this, we wouldn't have any regrets. I love her, she loves me, we decided to wait, The End. Our story might not be as good as any legend, but I'm content with that." Yes, I don't care what the future has in store for us. As long as she loves me, I don't care about anything else.

Teal'c broke out into a smile, "Then, I wish you and Major Carter will find happiness, O'Neill."

What?

Daniel released his hand from my shoulder and showed me the ribbon.

"There are three characters on the ribbon Jack. The first one is 'Ai' which means Love, the last one is 'Ming' which means Destiny or Fate ..." What the ..., I don't need a cultural lecture right now. "...and the one in the middle is 'Fu' which means Luck. They put 'Fu' in the middle so that it can unite the Love and Destiny."

He's giving me a sincere smile, "I wish you all the luck in the world Jack, so that you guys can be together."

Then it hit me; they've been planning this from the beginning. They just wanted to sweat me up a little bit. Oh, how I love these guys.

"Thanks guys." I really meant it.

"Oh yeah, are you still hungry Jack?"

I had completely forgotten about that.

"Yeah, you do have food here right?" 

I asked them suspiciously, I didn't see any food around.

"Of course we do. I put the pizza in my guest room, we knew if there was food you wouldn't be so willing to talk about this. Can you get it? I'll take the beer out from the fridge." Who else put food inside a guest room? Danny-boy sure is one in a million. I shake my head and head towards the room, it's on the second floor.

I open the door, hmm, the smell of pizza is filling my nostrils. Before I know it, someone pushes me inside the room and closes the door, locking it behind me. 

"Hey, what're your doing, let me out." I try to open the door, kicking it in one of my attempts to get out.

"O'Neill, I believe you would not be so keen to exit the room if you knew what is inside." That's Teal'c. So he's the one who locked me in here. Damn Daniel, what have you been teaching him? Something is inside? What is it? Pizza? That won't keep me in this room.

I look for the light switch, ah, there it is, and I switch it on. 

Oh ... my ... God.

Carter is on the bed, nothing wrong with that. But what shocks me is that she is tied around her hands and her ankles, duct-tape covering her mouth. She muffles something, and I quickly get to her side and take off the tape.

"Daniel and Teal'c are so dead."

I untie her hands. She glares at me.

"You too."

After her hands are free, she unties her ankles by herself.

"What? What did I do?"

"You're late. I've been in this room since 18.50, tied and gagged. Daniel said you should've been here around 19.00."

I smile at that, "Bad traffic, sorry. So what did you do to deserve this?" I really had to ask.

_"Jack,"_ That's Daniel voice, where did it come from? _"listen, Sam's been listening to our conversation from this speaker. I put a bug in the kitchen. I think you guys need to talk again. Oh yeah, we left some pizza and wine in the room, please do enjoy it."_ Sensing my confusion, Carter points her finger to the speaker on the table next to the bed. Who teaches Daniel all this stuff? I really should have a talk with Ferreti once I got back to SGC.

_"Oh yeah Sam, Teal'c and I are really sorry that we tied you up. But, we think it's better to be you than Jack. Once again, sorry. But we really wanted to know how serious you guys are. Up, and one more thing, we really are happy for both of you and will support you all the way through. Teal'c and I will go out to get something to eat, so you guys can talk freely. Don't worry, I didn't put any bugs in the room. See you."_ So, that's the plan. Testing my feelings for her before giving their approval.

"Only Daniel." She said, sighing and shaking her head.

"Yeah, only Daniel."

I sit down on the edge of the bed while she sits near me, drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her head on them.

"So, what are we going to do until they let us go?" My stomach grumbles as she asks the question. 

"Well, I'm hungry, so I think I'll have my dinner. Would you care to join me?" she's biting back a laugh.

"I'd love to."

I look around and spot the pizza box right away, and bring it over to the bed. She takes one slice of the pizza.

"Can I ask you a question?"

I take a slice as well.

"Sure."

"What did you mean when you said that ... that you couldn't love me if I'm not being honest with myself?" Her eyes are troubled.

I have to smile at that. "You are what you are. And I love you for that. I don't want you to stop being you ... not for me ... not for anyone else."

She thinks about what I said.

"You think too much ... but that's okay. Because it's you, that's what you do. I wouldn't want you any other way." I try to give her an example.

"Really?"

"Yeah, although I really hope that you could cut it short with your technobabble." I couldn't resist teasing her.

"I thought you said you like me just the way I am. The technobabble is part of me, you know."

"I know. It's one of your endearing qualities, although I don't understand a word of it."

She smiles.

"Can I ask you another question?"

"You can ask me any question you like."

"If you have a change of heart, would you let me know?"

"Of course, because I don't want our relationship to be based on a lie. It wouldn't last."

"I see."

"Hey, don't worry about it, I couldn't see myself running after another woman with you beside me. You're a hard act to follow. Let's see, Major in USAF, Phd in Theoretical Astrophysics, a beautiful woman and a wonderful friend. I'm a lucky guy because you love me." She's blushing, and I never thought that she could be more beautiful than she already is.

"You should show your romantic side more often, women would love to get their hands on you." She's trying to avoid my statement.

I put my hand over hers. 

"I got the woman that I want, I don't care what other people say. Although she compared me with a car. A dead car, I might add." I pout. She's laughing at that.

"Well, he's got some advantages."

"Tell me then, what's that car got that I don't."

"Al's my first love, you know what people say about first love. He always has a special place in my heart." Great, how can you beat her first love?

"So, be a dear and tell me. What can I do to kick him out of your heart?"

"Just be you." She says so softly, her smile still in place.

"'Cause you wouldn't want me any other way?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't want you any other way."

------------------------------------------------------------

Major Edwin Wagner walked inside the empty bar, there were only two other customers beside him. The bartender was cleaning the glasses. He recognized one of them and approached him.

"Major, glad that you could make it." the man said.

"What do you want, Larry?" Wagner wasn't happy with all this. He had only been in the SGC for a month and the General and Colonel O'Neill had their suspicions about him. He didn't want them to know that he had a hidden agenda. Larry was his contact person, they wanted him inside the SGC to do some 'damage' to Colonel O'Neill. He couldn't believe it at first when they had approached him to do the job; they knew that he had a 'personal grudge' against O'Neill.

"There's been a change in plan. O'Neill is not to be harmed ... yet. Their last journey changes everything, we need the naquada." Larry said. O'Neill had lots of enemies but he was a very capable officer and SG-1 leader, a team who saved the world several times. His enemies respected him, which spoke a lot about the man.

Wagner cursed under his breath, but he knew how to play the game. No one controlled him; he was the one in charge of his plan. "Okay, just let me know when you want to continue with the plan." With that he walked out the bar, towards his car.

Wagner drove his car deep into the middle of the night. His brain worked quickly-- he needed to make O'Neill suffer soon. Larry's new order changed all his plans. He was afraid that if this treaty with the Hailanese did work that they wouldn't let him have his revenge. A generous amount of naquada would give Larry's boss new priorities. He knew O'Neill better now; he knew what his weakest points were. 

The car stopped in front of a church. Wagner got out of his car and started walking, certain of where he was going. He stopped right in front of a tombstone and ran his fingers along its surface. "Cath, it will be over soon. He will pay for all of your agony, soon sweetheart, soon. I promised you." He bent down and kissed the stone. After giving it a last look he walked back towards his car.

- to be continued -

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AN: Thanks for JayBee who beta read this chapter for me, and also for the little lecture…hehehehe.

blue-topaz@lycos.com


	6. Sweet Trap

Chapter 6 : "Sweet Trap" 

Daniel is in the commissary, and I can see around 10 or 11 empty coffee cups on the table. Well, I guess he had a rough day. Teal'c is sitting across from him and his tray is, as always, full of food. I approach them with my pie and sit next to Teal'c, Carter should be here in a moment.  
  
"Danny-boy, what's up?"  
  
He looks up at me and says with a desperate voice, "Jack, you have got to talk to Sam ... order her if you have to. Please ... "  
  
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Carter had found a way to make Daniel and Teal'c pay for their 'little action' last week. After they released us from the guest room, they had promised to do anything she wished to calm her down a bit. I had to admit that they were true friends in every sense, carrying on with their plan even when they knew that there was no way out from Carter's wrath but total degradation of their dignity.  
  
"I am still in doubt of Major Carter's request, Daniel Jackson. It is most ... unusual." Even the big Jaffa flinches a bit.  
  
"So ... what did Carter want anyway?" I start to feel sorry for them, well guys, after what you did for me, I'll do anything for you.  
  
"She ... she wants us to make a home-made movie based on a film ... and then she's going to show it at the SGC's Christmas party."  
  
"Yeah? What's so bad about that?"  
  
"The title of the movie is 'The Full Monty', O'Neill."  
  
You know, just now I said that I would do anything for them, well I have to take it back. There's no way Carter will back up from this, her brain is as sneaky as it is brilliant. My kind of woman.  
  
"I watched the movie last night O'Neill and I am uncertain as what to make of this ... Tauri's custom. I thought I had familiarized myself to most of human strange behaviors. Major Carter had proved me wrong." His voiced is troubled, and not even an army of Jaffa could do that to him.  
  
"Jack, you can get us out of this mess, can't you?" Daniel's eyes are full of expectation.  
  
"We are in this position because we did you a favor, ONeill."  
  
They have so much faith in me that I can't say no. "I'll talk to her OK. But I can't promise anything, you know what she's like." There's no way that Carter's gonna let this go easily, but I have to try anyway. As I said earlier, they're my friends.  
  
"Thanks Jack."  
  
"You have my deepest gratitude O'Neill."  
  
Their faces relax a bit. Why do I feel like I'm going down here?  
  
Daniel stands up and then makes his leave, "Now that this thing is sorted out, I need to do some translations. Teal'c, I need your help with this one."  
  
Teal'c bows his head slightly and starts to leave as well.  
  
"Well, I'm happy that you're going to fix this thing, Jack."  
  
"As am I."  
  
Wait a minute. "Hey guys, I said I couldn't promise anything. There's no guarantee that she'll let this go."  
  
"I have full confidence in your ability, O'Neill."  
  
"Me too."  
  
And they left me in the commissary, dumbstruck ... they tricked me, AGAIN. Did someone publish a book on how to do that? Those two guys are getting good at it.  
  
"Colonel, are you going to stare at your pie all day?"  
  
What? I startle a bit, I guess Carter's greeting woke me up from my bewildered state.  
  
"Huh ... oh hi Carter."  
  
She has already sat across from me and takes a look at the state of the table. Daniel's empty cup collection and Teal'c tray are still there.  
  
"I guess you heard, huh?" She says casually. She looks as beautiful as ever.  
  
"Yeah, about that Carter. Could you cut them some slack?"  
  
Think brain, think! What can I do to change her mind?  
  
"Why would I do that?" She shrugs her shoulders, uh oh ... this is going to be tricky.  
  
"Uhm, because what they did was kinda ... sweet?" I try to remind her of their intention.  
  
Her eyes narrowed, "Sir ... let them tie, gag and then lock you in a dark room for half an hour. I'm sure you'll be more than happy to rephrase your last statement."  
  
Boy, she sure knows how to hold a grudge.  
  
"Alright, I get your point. But still, they did it for..." I lower my voice a bit, " us."  
  
"I know. But they did more to me than to you. Therefore the 'us' part is not a valid issue." She's still unmoved by my appeal.  
  
"Look, what they did to you was completely out of line. There's no excuse. But they're still our friends, and I'm sure you don't really want to humiliate them, do you?" She loves them, I know she does.  
  
"You know me well, I just want to have a bit of fun." She looks thoughtful, "Tell you what, I still want the movie but I'm not going to show it in public. It's for my private collection. How's that?" Great, there's a little hope for pushing it a bit more.  
  
"Carter, can you ... uhm, I don't know ... lighten up their punishment a bit?" I give her my best pleading face.  
  
"I suppose I could do that ... but it will come with a price, Sir." She smiles, it's a mischievous one.  
  
"Let's hear it." I knew that she wouldn't be very willing to let this go.  
  
"Instead of the home-movie, I want a picture of them doing the full monty. I'll even let them have a hat each, to cover whatever they want to cover. I won't show it to anyone else ... well, apart from Janet. She's already seen everything anyway." She pauses for a while and looks at me, "However, as I said earlier, there's a price to pay for this ... leniency."  
  
She points her finger at me, "And YOU are the one who's going to pay it."  
  
"Me? Why me?"  
  
"Because you're asking me for the favor."  
  
Wow, she's one sly lady, somehow she managed to drag me into this whole affair. Well, Daniel and Teal'c are the ones who dragged me into this chaos first, but she's burying me now, so deep that I don't have a way out. I know Daniel and Teal'c would take her 'leniency' anytime, so it's up to me to make the decision. And being the good friend that I am (and she knows that), I have no choice but to agree with her condition.  
  
"Fair enough. Now, how do I pay for it?"  
  
I mentally brace myself, preparing for whatever she wants me to do.  
  
"I want your picture..." Her eyes are filled with mischief and then she leans towards me and with a wicked smile across her lips, "in nothing but the sarong that Xian gave you."  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Major Wagner walked to the postbox, and making sure that no one saw him, he then dropped the letter. It contained detailed instructions and cash. He knew that the receiver of the letter was a professional and wouldn't make any mistakes. He smiled very slightly. In a few days, his plan shall begin.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
I am walking to my car when suddenly I feel that something, or someone, is watching me. I take off my sunglasses, scanning my neighborhood and slowly reach for my Baretta. I can smell and taste trouble, something is up. Concentrating more, I try to locate where my watcher is. And there it is-- a reflection glints from a thick bush around 1 km from my position.  
  
Zing  
  
I can feel a sharp pain to my left shoulder, damn, whoever that was, knew that his/her position was compromised and decided to shoot me. I run to my car for cover, firing some shots at the bush in the process. Behind the safety of my car, I put down my Baretta because I can't use my left hand, pull out my cell phone and push the speed dial button for the SGC. Blood is pouring out from my wound.  
  
"This is O'Neill. I need backup, code blue. My house."  
  
- to be continued -  
  
AN: Sorry it took me long to post this chapter, but chapter 7 is done and being beta-read right now. Thanks once again to JayBee for her help. Review and Feedback are always welcome.


	7. Predicament

**Chapter 7 : 'Predicament'**

I am standing in the gateroom, and the rest of my team plus SG-11 are ready to go to Hailan. SG-11 will deal with the treaty and SG-1, as the first contact team, will accompany them. I couldn't go because of my injury, so Carter will have the command of this mission. She's a little bit nervous, and who could blame her? The treaty with the Hailanese is important, so I move toward her.

"You're in command eh, Carter?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Cool."

She deserves it. If the situation with the Goa'uld wasn't such a pressing matter, I'd have her command her own team. SG-1 needs her, I need her in my team. She is a great soldier and scientist before she is the woman I love. 

"So, how is the shoulder, Sir?"

"Oh, it's fine. The Doc twirled around her magic needle, should be better in a week's time."

She chuckles at my comment and relaxes a bit. "I see."

Hmm, the shooting was kinda odd actually. The sniper was clearly a professional one, he could've killed me if he wanted to. Instead, he just shot my shoulder, injuring me without actually causing serious damage. When the backup arrived, the sniper had already fled from the scene of the crime. What's the deal with all this? Hammond and my team are also aware of this, but we're completely in the dark. There's no hint whatsoever on who was behind the shooting. Well, there's the result of pissing off too many people. Not that I'm proud of it, it's just my nature to have so many foes.

"I wish I could come with you guys."

She is amused, "Really Sir? I thought you'd be happy to skip this mission."

Hey, that's not true. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"This is a diplomatic mission Sir. And you must admit that diplomacy is not your strongest suit." She can't hold back a smirk.

"True. But interesting things tend to happen on that planet." The ribbon, the promise, the embrace ... I really want to go back to that planet. Nothing but good things happened to us on our last visit.

She blushes for a while but quickly regains her composure, "Sure Sir, who could forget the way Daniel bullied you into wearing the sarong."

I look around, making sure that no one had heard her last comment. Luckily, Daniel and Teal'c are with the SG-11, having a last 'tutorial' on how to interact with the locals. I give her a warning glare and hiss.

"That's not interesting, Major. That's revolting, and I thought I've ordered you not to bring that up." Why did she have to remind me of that? 

She's grinning, "The temptation was too much Sir. I couldn't resist. Besides, I haven't got my picture yet."

Because of the shooting, she thoughtfully postponed the deadline of my picture with only the sarong. Daniel and Teal'c had already done their part. The exact words she used were 'I want you to be in your prime condition when the picture is taken, Sir.' Of course she said it with one of her seductive smiles, the one that always made me weak to my knees. All I could do was nod, who could refuse that smile? Oh yeah, and there was the effect of the painkillers as well.

"Try harder. You'll have your picture in a month's time, Major."

"Can't wait. Teal'c's and Daniel's pictures are very ... enjoyable, Sir. I hope yours will also give me the same pleasure."

"Oh, don't you even worry about that."

Hammond's voice comes out from the speaker, "The MALP shows no indication of hostility. SG-1 and SG-11, you have a go."

"Yes, Sir." All the soldiers in the small party chorus.

"Okay people, Teal'c and I will go first, Daniel, you and SG-11 follow up behind us." 

It's nice to see another side of her, full of control, mmm, I might let her have command now and then after this mission. 

"Teal'c, be careful with the naquada generator."

"I will Major Carter."

The naquada generator will be used as a demonstration for the Hailan, to make them understand why we need the naquada from their soil. Daniel had said that it was also important to share that technology with the Hailan because they deserved it; it's the same design as the generator we gave to the Enkarans.

"Have fun Carter."

"Yeah sure you betcha."

With that she walks up the ramp and disappears through the blue puddle, with Teal'c right behind her. I feel uneasy, something is going to happen, I know that for sure. Daniel and SG-11 are walking towards the wormhole when suddenly the iris starts to close.

"What the ..." I look up to the control room, "General, what's going on?" The General looks as confused as I am, and he is quickly barking orders to Sgt. Davis. I run to the control room, and when I arrive there I can hear Davis informing the General. 

"Sir, we have no control over the iris."

"How could this happen?" 

"I have no idea, Sir. Running a full diagnostic." Davis is typing frantically.

"Jack, what's going on?" Daniel has just entered the control room.

"I don't know. We can't open the iris."

"That's not good."

"It's not."

The computer has finished the diagnostic, Davis studying the results.

"Sir, someone hacked into the mainframe and reprogrammed the computer."

"Is that actually possible?"

"It is, Sir. But you have to have an access to this computer or the one in Major Carter's lab. Whoever it is Sir, the culprit may still be in the Major's lab. The reprogramming is not completed yet." The SGC computer is very secure, Carter spent months just to make sure that it's impenetrable from the outside world.

Hammond reaches for the mike, "Security to Major Carter's lab. I repeat, security to Major Carter's lab. Arrest anyone inside the lab."

"_SGC, this is Major Carter. Do you read?" Carter's voice, thank God she made it to the other side safely._

I rapidly grab the mike, "Carter, are you alright?"

"_Yes Sir, but where's Daniel and SG-11?" _

"We got a little problem here, Major. They can't join you yet, just wait there for further instruction." 

"_Copy that. Carter out." _

Davids clears his throat, "Uhm, Sir. You might want to know this. The reprogramming is finished, we have no control over the gate at all."

"Can we fix it?" Daniel asks.

"I don't know. If Major Carter were here, she might be able to do it. But ..."

"But she's not here." I add. If she's here, she could've fixed this problem in no time. But right now, she's stranded in Hailan.

"Maybe one of our computer experts like Lt. Simmons could do it Sir, but I'm not so sure."

The General frowns for a while, "Do it. Call everyone we have, we can not afford to loose control over the Stargate."

"Yes, Sir."

An SF comes to the control room and salutes the General.

"Sir, we found Major Wagner in Major Carter's lab. He's in confinement right now, he said that he wants to speak with Colonel O'Neill." 

"Colonel ... "

"I'm on my way General."

------------------------------------------------

Wagner is sitting on the floor as I come in, and his eyes are mocking me.

"The Great Colonel O'Neill, how nice it is for you to join me here."

I have no time for his mockery, "Cut the pep talk, Wagner. What the Hell were you thinking?"

"Always straight to the point huh, just like she said you would be?"

He starts to get up and approaches me, standing right in front of the bars.

"Who's she?"

"Catherine. She worships you, but ironically, you're the one who doomed her to her death."

"I know lots of Catherines, which one are you referring to?"

He looks up to the sky and his expression softens, "You see, Cath. He doesn't even care about you, to him you're just another soldier, another face, another name."

"Wagner ... I don't care about any Catherine right now. How can we fix the computer problem?"

He gives me a smirk, "My name is not Wagner, it's ... Mills."

And then it hits me, "Catherine Mills." She was on my team, an explosive expert like Wagner. But on a mission gone bad, she was killed. I was in command of that mission.

"Remember her now, Colonel? But don't worry about her now, it's not important anymore. All you have to worry about now is Major Carter." He stands proud like a champion, "I put a bomb on the naquada reactor."

"You did WHAT?" I can feel my rage seething out.

He smiles cynically, "Don't worry, Colonel. I'll let you play the hero. And you have ..." , he looks at his watch, "just under 25 minutes to do that."

- to be continued -

AN: What do you think? Chapter 8 is finished and being beta-read. Hopefully I can post it in 2 days time. Please send review and feedback.

blue-topaz@lycos.com


	8. The Countdown

**Chapter 8 : 'The Countdown'**

_"Confirmed, Sir. There is a bomb inside the generator." _

Damn, damn, damn. How could this have happened? After Wagner (or Mills) told me about the bomb, I ran like crazy to the control room, still hoping that it was some kind of bad joke. 

_"The timer shows 19.04 and counting down, O'Neill."_

"Copy that, Teal'c." Davis put the time on the computer.

_"Sir, you have to disconnect the Stargate, I could open a wormhole to another planet and send the generator there. We can't let the bomb go off here, it would form a chain reaction with the naquada in the soil and the whole planet ..."_

"We know that Carter. Just hang in there for a sec, we lost control over the computer. We'll try to disengage it manually, but somehow I doubt that Wagner forgot to bypass that one too."

_"How long before the gate disengages on it's own?"_

I check the computer, "Just 5 seconds before the bomb goes, Teal'c. You guys won't have time to dial out."

_"I see ... I'll take a closer look at the bomb Sir, see what I can do about it."_

" Be careful."

Siler in the gateroom gives me a signal, the manual disengagement isn't working. No surprise there. Some computer geeks are working around the computer, trying to break into Wagner's new program while Hammond is on the phone to the president in his office, informing him about our situation. I shake my head in disbelief, what else can we do? Wagner clearly prepared this carefully, there aren't any holes in his plan. Daniel stands next to me.

"Jack, what does Wagner really want?"

"I honestly don't know, revenge maybe. He thought that I was responsible for the death of Catherine Mills." 

"Who's Catherine Mills?" Daniel asked, confused.

Wait, what's his relation to her. As far as I know, Catherine wasn't married and she was an only child, yet Wagner confessed that he has the same name as her. Hammond and I ran a background check on him recently, and the results came normally, much to my dismay. Major Edwin Wagner does exist. I need to talk to Wagner again, but I can't leave the control room. I need to be here, to be as close as possible to the gate.

"Jack, who's Catherine Mills?" Daniel asks the question again.

"I'll tell you later, Daniel." I look for an SF, ah, there's one, "Airman, bring Major Wagner here under heavy guard. If he tries something funny, shoot him on sight. Understood?" 

"Yes, Sir."

Davis calls me, "Sir, there's good news and bad news."

"Let's hear it."

"The bad news is that we can't get the control back yet."

I sigh, I know that this is bad.

"What about the good news?" Daniel asks.

"After this wormhole disengages, the program Major Wagner put in our computer will expire. The computer will function normally as before."

Of course, he only needed those 38 minutes when the wormhole was produced in the first place.

_"Sir, are you there?"_ Carter's voice. I grab the mike quickly.

"Yeah, go ahead."

_"The bomb is not really powerful, Sir. But it's fused to the generator core. I'm going to try to separate them."_

That sounds familiar.

"Wait, tell me what the bomb looks like."

_"Sir?"_

"Tell me what the bomb looks like."

_"Okay ... let's see. It's a small black box ... digital clock for the timer ... seven wires connect the box and the core ... silver line on the top of the box ..."_

Silver line? Please let me be wrong.

"Carter, check the bottom of the box. See if there's any writing there."

_"Hold on a second ... yes, there's some writing there. I'll try to read it, Sir. It's upside down."_

She doesn't have to do that. I know what the writing is, "3N5M"

_"Yes, Sir. How did you know?"_ She sounds surprised.

The Silver Feline. Or that was what Catherine used to call it, it was her baby. A small explosive, not harmful on its own but you can hook it to anything, like a nuke head and set it off. Really useful in a sabotage mission, but extremely hard to disarm. 

"Listen to me, don't, I repeat DON'T try to separate them, understood."

She hesitates a little before answering, _"Understood, Sir."_

"Davis, see if we can receive a visual from the MALP."

Hammond and Wagner decide to arrive almost at the same time.

"Colonel, what's he doing here?" the General is not happy having Wagner here.

I shot Wagner a look, "Sir, I need to ask some questions of him. I believe it would help us with dealing with the matter at hand, Sir."

"I see. Any news?"

"The computer's still out cold, we cannot disengage the wormhole and we got ..." I look at the computer, " 10.16 before the bomb goes off."

He sighs, "Any good news?"

"I think Jack knows what kind of bomb it is." Daniel provides some comfort.

"You do?"

"Yes, Sir. It's called the Silver Feline. Lt. Catherine Mills, a member of my old team back in the Black Ops days, designed it."

"Can you disarm it, Colonel?"

"Yes, Sir. But I have to have a visual to do that." I turn my head towards Davis, "Sgt., how's the visual coming?"

Davis's face falls, "I'm sorry, Sir. But I could not get the visual. When I tried to do it, somehow the computer sent a signal and disabled the camera instead."

God, please help me. I couldn't leave her out there to die.

"I knew you could disarm it Colonel. Did you really think that I wouldn't consider that?" Wagner decides to rub salt into my wound.

Who is he anyway? Who the Hell does he think he is?

"Wagner, or Mills, whichever you prefer, what is it that you really want? I'm sure blowing up Carter and Teal'c is not your ultimate purpose." I could kill him with my bare hands right now, but half of my team is still out there. 

"What I want? It's simple. I want you to suffer ... a lot ... I've been watching you, you know. I know what your weaknesses are. Your team is important to you, but Major Carter is different. She's ... special to you." He did this just to get to me, he knows how I feel about her. He continues, "Her death will haunt you forever, like your son's did. She's my main target, Teal'c is just ... a bonus. You wouldn't be able to forgive yourself, once again someone you love is dead, and you're the one who's causing it. Life will be unbearable for you." 

I feel numb. 

"Why? Why would you do this? What has it got to do with Catherine?"

He softened as he said, "Catherine is ... my sister. She's the one whom I love the most. While most people come and go, only a few people stand by you, and for me, it will always be her. She's my everything ... but you took her away from me."

"Snap out of it Wagner. She's a soldier. Even you are a soldier. Everytime we go on a mission, we know the risk."

"If she died as a soldier, then I would of accepted it. But she didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"She wrote me a letter. Just before she went to her last mission."

"And?"

"She told me everything. About you and about ... her feelings."

I know this is one of the reasons why he hates me so much. I knew back then that Catherine had feelings for me, but I was happily married with Sara and I had Charlie. Besides, she was my subordinate. I requested her to be transferred into another team, her last mission was supposed to be our last mission together.

"She found out that you were going to transfer her to another team, and she was broken-hearted. She told me in that letter that she couldn't bear the thought of loosing you. So ... she ..."

Suddenly, it's all making sense right now. "She was making sure that the mission would be her last mission." I ordered her to disarm a bomb, she said that she could do it. So she went inside the compound where the bomb was while the rest of my team stood guard outside. And then the bomb blew off and killed her instantly. At that time, the thought of her commiting suicide was beyond me. 

"Yes, you forced her to do that." Wagner's eyes accused me with anger.

"I did what I had to do."

"Don't make me laugh. It's that what you and Major Carter are doing right now."

"It's different." I almost shouted.

"Tell me how it's different?"

I couldn't find a single word to say. She's just different.

"Uhm, Jack. I think you'll want to know this. We have a visual." Daniel interrupts.

"We do?" I am taken aback. Relief that there is a chance to finish this off.

"Yeah."

I quickly go to the computer, couldn't care less about Wagner right now. 

"Where is it?"

"We have to wait for the device from Sam's lab."

"Come again?" 

"We couldn't fix the MALP, but Sam brings extra equipment with her. She's waiting for your instructions."

I turn on the mike, "Carter, try to open the black box. Carefuly."

I wait anxiously.

_"Done, Sir."_

"Now, send me the visual of the inside part of the box."

_"Yes, Sir. Is the device ready yet?"_

"Daniel?"

"Not yet. Siler will be here in a moment."

"Not yet, Carter. Just wait a moment."

_"Okay. Sir, you have to put the device as close as possible to the gate."_

"Got it."

I see Siler carrying something into the control room, and I approach him and take it from him straight away. Hold on a minute.

"Are you sure this is the right device, Siler?" he looks at the device that is now in my hand.

"I'm pretty sure, Sir. Major Carter was quite specific when she asked for it."

Jeez, I never do understand scientists. I shake my head and head down to the gateroom, taking a headpiece communication radio on the way.

"Carter, I got the device. Are you sure it's the right device?"

_"It's the right one Sir. Now, you have to activate the infrared. If you go into the menu, look for infrared, and then just select it."_

I fiddle with all the buttons, "Done, now what should I do?"

_"Try to hold it still around the center of the gate where the iris meets."_

I do as she says, and then there's something flashing on the screen of the ... device, "Carter, I think it's working, it says 'Receiving Picture'."

_"It might take some time before the picture transfer is complete, Sir."_

"Okay, hey, do you have the same ... device as I have?"

_"Yes, Sir."_

"Tell me then, why do you feel it necessary to bring a cell phone off-world? It is a cell phone, isn't it?" She never ceases to surprise me.

_"Sir, it's not any cell phone. It's the new Nokia 7650, it has a built-in digital camera, GPRS, and some other features that I added. After our last visit here, I think it's necessary for me to have my own camera, Sir ... the one that you are not aware of." _

"We need to talk about this after you come back, Major." She will come back, the thought makes me smile.

_"Yes, Sir."_

The phone is beeping, I guess the transfer is complete. Siler is right behind me with a laptop, and I look at him questioningly.

"Major Carter said that we need to upload the image into the laptop to get a bigger picture, Sir."

"Oh ..." I give him the cell phone right away. He connects the laptop and cell phone, and in a matter of seconds the picture comes out on the screen. Yep, I recognized it straight away as the Silver Feline. 

"How much time before the gate disengages, Sgt.?"

He types something and the time appears at the top right corner of the laptop. We still have 05.53. 

"Okay, Carter, listen to me carefully, do exactly what I tell you to do OK?"

_"Yes, Sir."_

"Okay, here we go ... "

And I start to give her instructions. After a couple minutes, we're down to the last wire.

"Carter, make sure you don't cut the fine wire under the last black wire."

_"Yes, Sir. Let's get this done and over with."_ She sighs heavily. The radio has been on the whole time so I can hear her every breath. And then I hear a snap; the last wire is cut.

_"Sir ..."_ Her voice is troubled.

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

"_The countdown hasn't stopped_."

"Are you sure?"

_"Positive."_

It should've stopped. Catherine showed me how to do it herself. It should've stopped.

_"Major Carter, there's another wire hidden under the timer."_

_"Let's see."_

"What? What do you got there?" So, Wagner decides to add another extra to his bomb, huh?

_"There's another ... two wires, Sir. Red and Blue. What should I do, Sir?"_

I'm furious, I really am.

"Wait there, Carter. Don't do anything."

_"Understood."_

I glance at the laptop, 03.45 left. I walk up to the control room, go straight to Wagner, grab and push him to the wall with only one arm.

"No games Wagner. Tell me how to stop it." I'm not screaming, but my voice is full of threat. 

"Colonel ..." General Hammond snaps me out of my rage.

"Damn ..." Hurting him won't do any good, so I release my grip on him.

Wagner smiles victoriously, enjoying the way he makes me frustrated. "This is a classic situation, Colonel. You only have to cut one of those. Red or Blue. Which one is it?" He then continues his assault, "This is another one of your weaknesses. You can't stand not being in control. You don't like feeling helpless, but that's how you're feeling right now, isn't it?"

_"Sir, I hate to do this. But we're running out of time here."_

Carter's voice. I was so caught up in dealing with Wagner, I almost forgot about the bomb. 01.48 seconds left.

"Carter ..."

_"Yes, Sir?"_

She trusts me and yet I can't help her. Wagner is right, I can't stand the feeling of being helpless. I close my eyes and try to calm my emotions.

"Sam ... "

I haven't called her that name for ages. Even when there's just the two of us, I never call her Sam, but I don't call her Major or Carter either. The same goes for her, I guess we're afraid that we would cross the fine line if we use our first names. No matter how much we wanted to. But now, I don't care. 

_"Yes ..." _

I look up to the gate and pray.

"You choose. Just cut one."

She's been listening to my conversation with Wagner, and she knows that I have no idea on which wire to cut. She is silent for a while.

_"I'll cut it as soon as the gate disengages. I don't want to risk any radiation to SGC."_

"Copy that."

I look at the timer.

**01.03**

_"General Hammond, Sir. Just in case we don't make it. I just want to say it's been an honor serving with you, Sir."_

_"So do I, General Hammond."_

"It is my honor too, Major, Teal'c"

**00.48**

_"Daniel, I'm glad that I had the chance to know you. You're a great friend, the best I've ever had."_

"Sam, don't talk like that. You'll be back, right? Or else, who's going to help me with all the military stuff?" Daniel is clearly distressed over the whole thing.

_"Daniel, I'm just saying. I never told you that before, did I? So, I just wanted you to know."_

_"Daniel Jackson, it is my privilege to be considered one of your friends."_

"Teal'c, I ..." Daniel starts to protest, but when I touch his arm, he concedes, "it is my honor to know you too."

**00.31**

_"O'Neill. Thank you for giving me the chance to fight against the Ghoa'uld. I truly am grateful to have known you."_

"Back at ya, T."

I could almost see him bow his head.

**00.26**

_"Jack ... I ..."_ she trails off. She used my first name. I look at the gate, wishing that I was on the other side of the giant ring, giving her some comfort.

"Hey, I know ... don't worry."

_"Bye ..."_

"Not yet, Carter." Not yet.

**00.14**

Davis announces, "The Gate will disengage in ... "

**00.10**

"Ten,"

I couldn't take my eyes off the gate.

"Nine,"

God, what would I do if ...

"Eight,"

_"Wish me Luck, Guys."_

"Seven,"

"Good Luck, Sam." Daniel whispers.

"Six,"

Please don't take her away for me. Not like this.

"Five,"

"I don't think that this is her lucky day." Wagner sneers.

"Four,"

I shoot him a vicious glare.

"Three,"

But then it hits me.

"Two,"

//Start Flashback// _"So, what's your color, Major?"_ //End Flashback//

"One,"

//Start Flashback// _" ... Named him Al, short for Albert, after Albert Einstein, my dad bought him for me as my birthday present. After that, I always had a thing for red, it's my lucky color." _//End Flashback//

"Gate disengaged."

She will cut the red one and Wagner knows it.

"Four,"

Countdown for the bomb has started.

"Three,"

My eyes are still locked with Wagner. 

"Two,"

"It's the red one, isn't it? It's a trap. You knew all along that she's going for the red one."

"One,"

"Nice of you to notice." 

"Zero."

"But it's too late."

-to be continued-

AN: I just have to stop there. Anyway, the cell phone scene came out from my frustration of not having one (it's sooooooo expensive). I'm not sure if the infrared could travel both ways through a wormhole, but for the sake of the story, let's just say 'yes'. Please do send review and feedback.
    
    blue-topaz@lycos.com


	9. The Waiting Game

**Chapter 9 : 'The Waiting Game'**

I stare blankly at the gate. I don't know how much time has passed since the gate disengaged, but every fraction of a second is like torture to me. I don't know what to do, part of me acknowledges that she's gone, Wagner had been watching her as well as he was watching me. The other part of me hopes that she and Teal'c made it, that she cut the right wire. In the background, I could hear vaguely the gate technicians checking the computer.

"The computer is back online, Sir." Davis reports.

_"But it's too late."_

I still can hear it, Wagner's mocking voice. It keeps echoing inside my head. He was right, I should've noticed it sooner, I should've told her which wire to cut, I should've been there with her in the first place, I should've ... 

"Son ..." General's voice, he put one comforting hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't take my eyes off the gate. 

"I know how much Major Carter means to you."

I don't know what to say, " She's ... a very valuable member of my team, Sir." I want to say more, I want to say how much I love her, how she somehow stole a place in my heart, how she makes me wish everyday for a chance to be together, even if it's only in a dream. But I couldn't, I'm still in my wishful thinking that she'll be back and I'll say all those things to her myself. Making sure that my every word is written in her heart.

"I know, Son ... I know." Hammond knows about us, he's a General for a reason. But I guess he never saw any reasons to doubt our judgement, we never did cross the line. How I wish we did now.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of Wagner, my desperation soon turning into fury. He still is standing near the wall where I pushed him earlier. I make my way to him and stop just right in front of him, he's closing his eyes and rambling something under his breath. He has a faint smile on his lips, but it's a sad one. Sensing that I was near, he opens his eyes. The control room is in an eerie silence, although there are at least a dozen technicians in there. They're watching us.

And then, very slowly, he says, "It's over. She's gone."

Without thinking, my good arm automatically raises, and I send a fist towards him with all my might. In less than a second my fist finds its target, the wall next to Wagner's head. He's shocked, he thought for sure that I'd punch him.

"You won't get away too easily. There'll be Hell to pay for all this Wagner ... and I'm personally going to make sure that you'll get there." I threaten people all the time, it's one of my games, but this time I really meant it, every single word of it.

He just shrugs, "I got what I want, I don't care about the consequences."

He's trying to make me lose my self-control. No, no, I won't be baited. Okay, take a deep breath, breathe in ... breathe out ... breathe in ... breathe out. 

"Jack, he's not worth it." Daniel, my own living conscience. He's right, he always is, "Sam would not want you to do that either." Yeah, she wouldn't want this.

Slowly I regain my composure, I was so close to losing it, but there's still hope. No matter how faint it is, it's still hope. Carter and Teal'c have a streak to beat the odds, like any other member of SG-1. The streak that frustrates the Goa'uld over and over again. I still have hope ... don't I?

"General, can we establish a wormhole to P30 J81?" Waiting is not my game, I despise it. While you're waiting, you never know what's truly going on. I'm more of an 'action' man, or that was the term Carter used once. 

"Not until we're sure that the bomb is disabled, Colonel. You know that." Of course I know. Damn, the pain in my fist decides to make its presence known, the adrenaline has decreased now as my frustration escalates. 

And then suddenly the Stargate starts to rotate.

"Incoming traveller." Davis excitedly announces, and the mood inside the room brightens.

"Don't waste your hope, Colonel. It's SG-5. They were due back about now." Annoyingly, Wagner smiles.

Surprisingly, it's Daniel who answers him back, "Don't waste your snide remarks, Wagner. They're way too good for your bomb." That shuts him up.

I look at Daniel for a while and then I realise that I'm not alone. He also shares the same guilt as I do, that we're supposed to be there with them, next to the bomb, instead of here, in the safety of the grey walls of the SGC. He flashes me a small tender smile, and somehow it soothes me a little. That's my best friend for you, who can give me consolation in the time I need it the most.

**KAWOSH**

The wormhole is established.

"Closing the Iris, waiting for SGC code."

I wait ... and wait ... and wait.

_"Sir, is it safe to go home now?"_ Carter's voice is like ice-cold fresh water to my thirsty soul. Well, I was being too poetic for my own standards there for a moment, but who cares? I'm so relieved that she's alive. 

The control room is exploding with cheers, some are clapping, Daniel hugs me, and General Hammond smiles as wide as possible.

"Yes, Major. You had us worried there for a moment." Hammond says.

_"Teal'c and I were just making sure that the bomb is completely off Sir."_

"Very well, come home now, Major. And that's an order."

_"Yes, Sir."_

I'm still speechless, I don't know what to say. She's coming back, to Earth, to me. Still intact and very ... her. Those few torturous minutes of uncertainty seem like decades away now.

"It's impossible."

Trust the universe to always have someone who isn't pleased with this dramatic close call. Wagner had slumped to the floor as soon as the realization of his plan's failure had sunk in. I shot him a sympathetic look, where's the man who stood like a proud victor just a minute ago?

"I guess she's not as predictable as she looks, huh?" She is anything but predictable.

With that I left him in the control room and headed towards the gate room, Hammond and Daniel are already in there. And then, two figures emerge from the event horizon; I could recognise those figures anywhere, anytime.

"Welcome home, Major Carter, Teal'c." Hammond greets cheerfully.

"It's good to be home, Sir." 

Teal'c just bows his head as he always does.

Daniel runs straight to Carter and hugs her close as she returns his embrace, and I could see him muttering something in her ear. Teal'c hands over the naquada generator to one of the SF, and I walk towards them.

"O'Neill."

"Teal'c. I'm glad that you could make it."

"It is Major Carter's crucial decision that makes it possible." 

It is, and I still don't understand why she cut the blue wire. I was so certain that she would go for the red one.

"Colonel."

I turn around to see her standing in front of me. 

"You did good, Carter."

She really did.

"Yes, Sir."

Many things are running through my mind at the moment, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything else. So I close distance between us and pull her into my arms. If Daniel is allowed to do it, I see no reason why I shouldn't do it either, she's my friend and she deserves it. I don't care if the whole base witnesses this. It's a basic human right to hug a friend who just cheated her death, right?

"I thought ... damn, doesn't matter now ... I'm just glad that you're back." I whisper.

She hugs me and whispers back, "You won't get rid of me that easily."

I allow myself to hold her so close, to put my arms around her like there's no tomorrow. After a few seconds, I reluctantly let her go. I miss the warmth that radiates from her body already, my body craves for more.

She smiles at me, "Besides, you still owe me a picture, Sir."

Oh yeah, that smile and that comment _do_ help me a lot with my craving for her. She's back, and we're back in the familiar territory. I couldn't ask for more.

"All in good time, Carter. All in good time."

- to be continued-

AN: This chapter is short because I just want to get all of you out of the misery of not knowing, like the Colonel did. Anyway, the reason of why Sam cut the blue wire is in the next chapter, and no ..., she's not lying about her favorite car. I mean who else name their car after the greatest scientist the human had ever known? Ok folks, review and feedback are very much welcome. 

blue-topaz@lycos.com.


	10. Decision and Responsibility

**Chapter 10: 'Decision and Responsibility' **

" ... Major Wagner's parents were divorced when he was ten. He went with his mother, while his twin sister, Catherine, stayed with his father. His mother got married again, and that's why his name was changed from Mills to Wagner." General Hammond flicks some papers on his desk.

"How come we didn't get this information the first time we checked on him, General?" If I had known this, there's no way that I would of let him near my team.

"I don't know."

Hammond and I are having a private briefing over the whole fiasco with Wagner. I don't like this at all, someone definitely covered up some important details about Wagner. Who could it be? Kinsley is on top of my list, but then again, my list is quite long.

"Jack, we're not new in this ... politic game. But we have to move on, there are other matters more pressing than finding out who really was responsible for this."

"I know, Sir. But there is no guarantee that they won't try again. And I'm afraid we wouldn't be so lucky the next time."

Hammond sighs, "Believe me, I know."

We just stay silent for a while, drowning in our disappointment that there's nothing else that we can do about this.

"If there's nothing else, I would like to be excused, Sir." I want to see Carter, I need to see her. To reassure myself that she's still here, to touch her to make sure that it's not a dream, to smell her scent so that I know that it's really her, to have a banter with her like we always do, to flirt with her inside the boundary that binds us together.

Hammond looks concerned, "There is something else that I need to discuss with you, Jack."

"What is it?"

"It's about your relationship ... with Major Carter."

I quickly assure him, "General, I promise you that we haven't and won't do anything to betray your trust in us. We owe you that much."

We both know what I'm talking about, I won't put Hammond in a difficult position. I respect him, he's a good CO and a father figure to me. He smiles, "Thank you. That's all, you're dismissed Colonel."

I salute him, "Yes, Sir."

--------------------------------------------------

I found her in her lab, totally engrossed with the naquada reactor that almost cost me her life.

"Carter."

She looks up to me and smiles, "Colonel."

"What ya doin'?"

I move closer to her and let myself sit on the chair right in front of her. The generator on the table is between us.

"I want to take a look at the bomb, Sir. It's quite interesting how it was fused to the core, generating more power to the blast even though it's just a small amount of claymore." She looks quite excited with her new 'toy', doesn't she remember what this nasty thing almost did to her?

"It's called the 'Catalytic Effect'."

"Yes, it's acting like a catalyst, just a tiny amount of this can increase the rate of reaction by thousands of times and ...", she stops talking, as if she had just realised something, and shoots me a look that's a mixture of horror and disbelief, "How ... how did you know about that Sir?"

I couldn't resist a grin, "You know your stuff and I know my stuff."

"Ahhh, guns and bombs, your stuff." She mocks me, but her smile's still there.

"You know me well."

She diverts her attention back to the generator, "Daniel told me about Catherine Mills."

Damn Daniel, you just can't shut your mouth, huh? But I guess she'll know about this sooner or later. I mean the whole base basically heard me and Wagner bickering in the control room earlier.

"Oh ..." 

She still concentrates on the generator, avoiding my gaze effectively. I wait for her to say anything, but she stays silent.

"Do you want to know about her?" I offer.

Finally her eyes meet mine, there's hesitation in there.

"You don't have to. I know it must be hard for you," she says softly.

"It is hard ... but you deserve to know it. Didn't I say that I don't want to have a relationship based on lies? I also don't want a relationship based on secrets. Because sometimes ... a secret is more cruel than lie."

She puts down the gadget that she's holding. 

"Okay, but I don't think that talking about it here in the base is wise." She's right, we need to go somewhere more private.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?"

She nods, "There's a coffee shop just near my house, it's quite nice. Do you want to go there? Or do you prefer another place?"

"Actually, I prefer O'Malley, but I don't think they'll let us in after what happened last time." She shakes her head and lets out a small playful smile.

"We could always go undercover, Sir. You wear a wig and I put on my sunglasses and hat. How's that?" 

"Isn't it supposed to be you who wears the wig? I'll wear the sunglasses and I'll even borrow one of Teal'c's hats."

She's giggling now, "No way, I'm not wearing a wig. What if we both wear sunglasses and hat, Sir?"

"Do you honestly think that they'll let us in?"

"Well, no. But it'll be fun." She sure knows how to have a good time. 

"You know what, you're right. Let's do it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'll have the biggest steak you have, with everything, rare and a baked potato."

"You got it."

Carter is having a hard time holding her laughter back. We were lucky, the waitress that is in charge tonight is a new one, so we managed to get in. To avoid any loathing glares from the O'Malley's other staff, we chose a dark corner, still with our sunglasses and my silly cowboy hat (one of Teal'c's favorites, mind you).

"And you, Ma'am?" The waitress politely asks, if only she knew what we've done.

Carter still hasn't managed to pull herself together, she hides her face behind the menu. 

"This lady here will have the same, but with French-fries." I take the liberty to order for her.

"Is that all? Any drinks?"

"Beer for me and ..." I look at her, she lowers the menu, I could almost see her eyes peeking behind the sunglasses, "diet soda for her. She likes the taste better." I smile at the waitress and hand her back my menu. Carter doesn't say anything, just smiles and gives her menu back to the waitress.

After the waitress is far enough, Carter is grinning like mad, "We've made it. I can't believe we've made it."

I take off my sunglasses and hat, "Carter, as much as I like to see you smile, you need to tone it down a little. Or else, people will get suspicious."

She also takes off hers, "Can you blame me, Sir?"

I have to smile at that. "No." This place brings back a lot of memories, and unconsciously, I look at the pool table. She follows my gaze and spots the table as well. Her giggling attack is making a reappearance, it's kinda infectious, I find myself laughing with her as well. The waitress comes by and gives us our drinks while we're still laughing, and gives us an odd look. After a while, we calm down and stare at each other.

"So ..." she sighs.

"So ..."

"You know, you don't have to tell me now. I'll wait until you're ready."

Here comes the hard part.

"How much did Daniel tell you?"

"Not much, Daniel said that she was on your team. And then she had feelings for you, so you tried to transfer her, she didn't take it well, so she ... "

Our eyes are still locked together, "That's about right. She was a good soldier and a good woman as well. She was our explosive expert, like Wagner. I guess it ran in the family. I always treat my team members like my family, but I think she took it the wrong way. She ... fell in love with me ... I overheard her talking to one of her friends. As her CO ... I couldn't let that happen, so I requested for her to be transferred. Besides, I was with Sara and Charlie, I was happy. She found out somehow." 

Somewhere during my story, she put her hand over mine. I found comfort there, so I turned my hand over, linking my fingers with hers. 

"When she died on that mission, I ..."

"You blamed yourself ... " She understands me, more than anybody else could. 

"Yes, she shouldn't have gone through that mission. General Miller wanted her out of that mission ... but she was the best expert that we had. I told him that I just needed her for that one last time, if only ... if only ..." I close my eyes, the memory of her last moment is coming back and it's not a pretty one. I'm so grateful that Carter is here, with me, when I relive that dark episode. Her grip tightens.

"It wasn't your fault ... she made her own decision ... she was responsible for her own actions. So don't hold yourself accountable for that."

"I shouldn't of asked her to come on that mission."

"You needed her skills, for the sake of the mission. It was the right call."

"No, it was not. Look at the results."

"If she didn't know about her transfer, she would of made it alive. You couldn't have known."

"I should have. I'm her CO, remember. I should have known." 

"Being a CO doesn't mean that you have to know about everything. You're only human, there are certain ... limitations that you have. That's what make us human ... you're not Superman, you know." She smiles.

"Hey, I know that." I let out a small smile. She knows how to make me feel better, what would I do without her?

I look at her and am mesmerised by the moment, she looks back at me and her eyes are a picture of a deep ocean, one that can calm your soul whenever you see it.

"Thank you." I say.

"What for?"

"For just being here with me."

"Anytime."

-------------------------------------------------------

We only managed to finish half of our dinner before one of the waitresses recognised us and threw us out from the restaurant. So, we decided to take a walk in the park near O'Malley.

"Oh ... that was classic."

"I wish Daniel was there."

"Are you joking, he was supposed to be there. I bet he'll be gutted to find out that he missed all the fun."

"It was fun, wasn't it."

"It was."

Then, the giggling comes back. Boy, do I have a great time with her.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask this, what happened to your right hand?" She noticed that Janet had put a bandage on my fist.

"Oh, this?" I wave my hand in front of her.

"Yes, that."

"Nothing really, just someone pissed me off so bad that the wall turned into a punching bag back then." I try to shrug it off.

She looks thoughtful for a moment, "It was after the gate disengaged, wasn't it?"

There's no hiding from her, "Yes."

She takes my bandaged hand and kisses it so gently, I can't take my eyes off her, "If the bomb did go off, you would blame yourself right now."

"I would."

She turns her gaze on me, "Don't."

"Wagner hates me, he did the whole thing just to get to me. I couldn't not blame myself."

"I know the risks of loving you, you have lots of enemies, on and off-world. I know that. So don't blame yourself, it's my decision and mine alone." She rests her head on my shoulder and whispers, "You're worth the risks, so please ... don't."

I'm overwhelmed by her words, I'm worth the risks? No one ever told me that before.

"I'm not sure that I could do that." I answer her honestly.

She takes a deep breath and then raises her head so that we see each other eye to eye, "Do you want to know why I chose the blue wire?"

Oh yeah, I was going to ask her that, but we were having such a good time that I completely forgot about it. "Tell me."

"Because I didn't want to cut the red one." I raise my eyebrows in Teal'c's fashion, and she continues, "Being on that planet reminded me of that legend. Remember that? The one that said that if the red thread was cut, the lovers connected by it would lose their memories about each other. So ... I didn't want to cut it ... I didn't want you to forget about me."

"I would never be able to do that."

She shakes her head and smiles, "Daniel told me once ... you can't forgive yourself, but sometimes you can forget." She squeezes my hand, "I don't want to be like that to you. I want you to be able to forgive yourself ... but never forget about me, not even for a second. Maybe ... maybe I'm being selfish here, it would be easier for you to forget about me ... but I don't want you to. I just don't want that to happen. The guy in the legend sacrificed himself so that his girl forgot about him, but I'm sure ... deep inside his heart ... he wanted to cherish their memories ... Our memories ... good and bad ... I don't want you to throw it away. Ever."

"I don't know if I could forgive myself. Not if I lost you."

"Yes you can. All you have to do is try." She hugs me, "I'll be there for you, you'll never loose me ... just remember that."

I put my arms around her and bury my face into her hair, "You're wonderful, you know that?"

"You think so?"

"Yeah, of course, why not?"

"I thought after my outburst just now, you'd think that I'm sappy."

I have to laugh at that, "You? Sappy? Oh ... this is new."

"You don't have to laugh so hard, you know. That kinda hurt my feelings." She pulls out from our embrace and flashes me an indignant look.

"Ups, sorry. I don't think you're sappy at all ... Romantic, yeah, that's the word. You're romantic, not sappy."

"Romantic?"

"Yeah, of course. Wonder what the others'll think when they know about this."

There's horror on her face, "Don't you dare tell anyone about that."

"No? Why not?"

"Just don't. And don't ask me why."

"Come on, there's nothing wrong with being romantic. Or ... do you prefer sappy? Oh yeah, let's tell them that you're sappy."

She snorts, "That's better, at least no one will believe you when you tell them that I'm sappy."

"You got a point there."

"So, don't tell anyone, okay?"

This is fun, I couldn't resist myself to tease her.

"Well, well, well, you have to pay for my silence there."

"Why?" she asks wearily.

"Because you're asking me for the favor."

I use the exact words that she used during the whole mess with Daniel and Teal'c just to make her ticked.

"Payback is a bitch, huh?"

"Sure is." I show her my biggest grin.

She steps back from me, "Okay, what do you want me to do then?"

I open my mouth to say something but she beats me to it, "If you want to bail out from the picture, forget about it. I want that more that anything, and I must remind you that the deadline is in ..." she looks at her watch, " 21 days, 7 hours, 39 minutes and 21 seconds time."

Damn. 

"Well, you can't blame a guy for trying."

"So ... what do you want me to do?"

Mmm, I have the power to make her do anything that I want. Let me savor this opportunity for a sec. I give her my best innocent smile.

"I want you to give me ... a kiss on my cheek ... now ... here."

I think I hit the Jackpot, she blushes furiously. 

"That's ... that's ..." She is simply stunned.

"That's what? Are you telling me that you can't do a simple task, MAJOR?" I use her rank to bait her, my eyes mock her in a challenging way. This is a win-win situation. If she can't do it, she'd cancel the whole picture thing, if she does it, then ... do I have to say it? It's so obvious. 

She grits her teeth, and gained this determinant look.

"Okay ... I'll do it."

Like I said, win-win situation.

"Sweet."

She takes a deep breath, composes herself and then moves towards me.

"For the record, SIR, I think you're impossible." 

"Well, thank you." Still with my big smile.

She closes our distance, her face is right in front of me. She closes her eyes and leans forwards, automatically, I hold my breath and close my eyes as well. I wait for a sensation on my cheek, it never comes, and instead I feel her lips on mine. I know it's hers, I know what it tastes like, sweet and soft, it stays there for a while. When I want to deepen the kiss, she retreats. 

"There, I've done it."

Wow, oh ... wow. 

She kissed me. 

Willingly (with a little 'encouragement' from me.)

This is much better than any other kisses we've shared. 

Waaaay much better.

Wow.

She looks at me in anticipation, waiting for me to say something.

My brain is still in switch-off mode, so don't blame me when my tongue slips.

"You know ... technically speaking, you haven't given me what I requested."

- Finish -

AN: Yay, I finally finished this. Anyway, I was thinking about writing a sequel but that is for another time. So, did anyone have the right guess on why Carter chose the blue wire? Thanks for all who have been very patient with me, thanks for all who has given me the review and feedback. I hope this ending isn't too sappy and the thanks for JayBee-Bug who help me with her beta-reading skill. I'm in the middle of writing a new fic now, with Anise/Freya making a guess appearance (so, watch for the space, there'll be a lot of fun there). So, as always, please do send review and feedback. I hope I haven't left anything unexplained. If I do, please notice me. Once again, thanks. 


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